Friday, February 5, 2010

Feeling guilty...

So I created this blog as a way to hopefully keep myself accountable for actually getting some organizing done around here. Well I did get a tiny bit done today, and I did take pictures, but have not loaded them onto the computer yet, so will save them for tomorrow and will hopefully have much more progress to post along with it.

I enjoy reading blogs about organizing/crafts/decorating/whatever it is, but where also you feel like you get to know a bit about the person writing the blog. So tonight I will share a bit about how I have been feeling lately, and maybe some other moms can relate.

I have been feeling really guilty lately because I have baby fever already. My son is not even a year old, but I am already thinking about having another baby (we are planning on waiting a while before trying again). I think it has been creeping up on me as the months go by since my son's birth, but has hit me even more since the beginning of January when my baby boy started crawling! I say everyday how much I miss my tiny baby. I miss him curling up and cuddling on mommy and I even miss my big belly and feeling him kick before he was born. I think this is why I am so anxious for another, but yet I know it won't cure anything, because #1 my Mason will still be growing up at a rate that is much too fast for Mommy, and #2 it will happen all over again as baby #2 grows up. I know that I really do want to wait before trying again. I want to spend this time enjoying Mason as baby and focusing on him, and it makes me feel so guilty to be already wanting another one like it's not fair to Mason. I really do enjoy watching him grow up and seeing his personality develop and his smiles and giggles and all his milestones, but I will forever miss holding the tiny baby boy I brought home from the hospital.

This evening Mason actually laid on me and fell asleep which is a very rare occurrence since he has learned to crawl, because now he just wants to go everywhere and as long as someone is holding him he is more likely to fight sleep even when he is really tired. I can't believe at 8 months old, how independent my baby boy is already becoming. I miss my cuddly boy that I could pick up and cuddle him to sleep whenever and where ever. It made me very happy to have that moment with him tonight, I really needed it.

Mommy and Mason:
One week old:

one month old:
January 16, nearly 8 months old:


  1. We'll have another before you know it...time is going to go by faster than we know.

  2. Oh, what a cutie pie! I know how you feel - when my twins were around 8-9 months old I was thinking about having a fourth. We waited, and now that they are all older, I am sure we are done. I do miss the days of holding a baby, but those babies always grow up. Now that we have 2 3-year-olds and a 5 year old things are crazy all the time!!
    Hope you have a good weekend..


  3. Oh, I do relate! When my son was about 1, I longed for another baby. We decided to try for a second and she took her sweet time in coming along - they're 3 years apart! And I am glad for the age difference now, because my older child is able to use the potty on his own, understands when I need to focus on the baby, and can play independently. Closer together would have been harder on me.

    Aw, what am I saying - when my son was 3 months old I asked my husband if he missed having a "little baby". I was always baby-lusting, haha!